Randomness
by Trapped in Reality
Summary: Any interesting crack fic that my sister and I made. We made Sasuke streak and Shikamaru cross-dress. Special guests include: Chichi, Goku, Spiderman, Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader. All of which we do not own.
1. STREAK

This is something my sister and I did … enjoy! This is when one person writes a sentence, then the other writes next, and so forth.

"The sun rises in the North and sets in the Chickeeeeeen!" The three genin looked at him with such fascination.

"You're all idiots!" Sakura yelled at the top of her lungs. Her voice vibrated at such a high frequency that the nearby ice-capped mountains avalanched on the nearby village (not Konoha), but who cares about them?

Anyways, the other two just looked at her as if she was a fat cow with three eyes, two tails, one nostril and five heads, before Naruto yelled, "HEY, MACARINA!" The two others danced to the Macarena like a bunch of idiots (no surprise there because unfortunately that's what they are). Just then, a celestial being fell from heaven wearing _very_ provocative clothes.

"It's Shikamaru!" Sakura squealed like a schoolgirl before glomping the poor guy, and you can faintly hear, "How troublesome!" It looked like someone attack his face with makeup, but it looked good on him.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Sakura yelled suddenly, and scrambled from sight and the remaining people looked at the thing she was pointing at before she ran away to see what scared her. It was a chipmunk, not just an ordinary chipmunk, but also the cutest, fuzziest chipmunk known to man!

"Awe! It's so cute," Naruto, said reaching out his hand to scratching his chin which he had succeeded in doing, until the chipmunk had decide to bite Naruto's fingers. Of which made Naruto run around in circles in pain, and Shikamaru asked himself why he invited himself to this party.

"Do you think we should go after Sakura?" Naruto asked poking Sasuke for no apparent reason... and Shikamaru smacked Kakashi upside for staring at him, but the thought of Sakura faded when a sinister shadow smirked. However, everyone ignored it and it went away. Suddenly, Chichi, who was chasing Goku with a frying pan, jumped into the clearing where they were, and screamed at Naruto saying, "Goten, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be home studying like a good little boy and get a good education so you won't turn out like your father?"

The group watched chichi chase Goku off and Naruto yelled a cheerful, "Bye!" and waved. Shikamaru passed out because of all the excitement. Naruto stepped on his head. Sasuke found an orange object on the ground, smirked, picked it up, and disappeared. He ran around the whole village screaming, "I have an orange! I have an ORANGE!" before running to the Hokage and shoving it in her face screaming, "BLUUUUUUUUUUUEEE!"

Back to the group, Kakashi began searching his pockets muttering, "Where did I put my manga?"

"You mean this?" Naruto asked, flipping the page of the familiar orange book; it was clear he was halfway done with it. He was seconds away from handing it to Kakashi when Sasuke came streaking (naked) by, knocking out of Naruto's hand and into a conveniently placed river, and the book became wet and soggy and ruined and unable to be read anymore.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Luke Skywalker exclaimed, appearing out of nowhere, and sobbed over the book's destruction.

Darth Vader came up and placed his hand on Luke's shoulder and said," Yeah I'm sorry for you loss and all, and this is kind of a bad time but, I'm your father!"

Naruto looked at him weirdly before asking, "What does this button do?" as he pushed it; needless to say, that was Darth Vader's Self-Destruct button.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he yelled and went boom. Naruto looked at his magically appearing watch and exclaimed, "I'm going to be late for my ramen lunch with Iruka!" and left.

Sasuke was waiting for him when he got there. But the manager kindly exclaimed, "Sorry, but no insane people allowed"

"Oh," Naruto slumped his shoulders and walked sadly away. However, the manager called out, "No Not you! I mean this freakish thing," pointing to Sasuke.

Oh," Naruto slumped his shoulders again and continued walking away. The manager dragged Naruto back to the shop saying, "You are our best customer, and you're not leaving that easily! Why did you keep on walking?"

Naruto screamed, "Abuse! Abuse! I need an adult! I need an adult! Abuse! abuse! I need an adult! I need an adult!" Causing heads to turn and words cast, and nasty rumors were started. "Abuse! Abuse! I need an adult! I need an adult! "

"Hey Choji, you're a fat kid, a fatty-fat kid. Here have a candy bar," Someone random said. "Hey Bob! He's not a shoplifter! He's just fat!" he turned back to Choji, "Aren't you, you Fatty-Fat Fatty fat," and he poked him. Just then Ino falls out of the egg wall (you know, where they are all lined up, and if you dig through them, you see grocery workers? This one has eggs in cartons on It.).

"No!" Naruto yelled, shaking his finger at her. "No! Bad Ino! Bad! No! No! Bad! Bad girl! Bad girl! Bad! No!" and then Naruto flicked her on the nose. Shikamaru asked tiredly, "Where were you Ino?" to which Ino exclaimed with a hint of fear in her voice, "I DON'T KNOW!"

"No!" Naruto continued to shake his finger at her and got in her face, "Bad! Bad! Bad Ino! No! No! No! Bad girl!" Ino flicked him on the nose, and Naruto scampered and whimpered off.

Spiderman zoomed by, and stopping upside down in front of Ino, "Did I hear someone call?" he asked but gasp as he saw Choji and exclaimed, "Don't worry Ino! I will save you from the fat, oversized...Thing!" before shooting Choji with a web sling, gluing him to a wall.

"Thanks Spiderman!" Ino exclaimed like a happy schoolgirl; she walked up slyly to him before ripping off his mask.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She screamed as for underneath his mask was a flesh eating mutant demon worm that ripped Ino's head off instantly and the whole world cheered and partied like there's no tomorrow. Meanwhile Choji came across a weird sensation he never felt before; He was full!

He belched loudly; I guess he wasn't full after all.


	2. YOU SUCK!

**WE DON NOT OWN, Jackie Chan SKILLET, Nickelback, or Eiffel 65 OR THEIR LYRICS. WE'RE JUST BORROWING THEM FOR AMUSEMENT.**

Naruto screamed as the snow smacked him in the face. Strangely, it wasn't snow (dun dun dun!). It was sunshine! Then he realized it was snow, but yellow snow! He looked up to see a giant clay bird urinating above the village. He shrugged it off, just thinking it was a part of in unimaginable imagination, and went to the ramen shop, unaware of the eyes following him.

Someone crept up behind him and whispered in his ear, "I'm everything you've wanted. I am the one who's haunting you. I am the eyes inside of you, stare back at you."

"Go away Sasuke!" Naruto pushed the unexpected raven-haired Hyuuga away and, he ran off crying an ocean into the woods. "I'm tired of such abuse," he wailed at the chipmunks that seemed to be laughing at him. In fact, they were! After many years of enduring the villagers' hating stares, he snapped and slaughtered the laughing chipmunks.

"MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER! MURDERER!" Some random girl with long hair came out of nowhere circling him, changing her voice each time and it was very annoying. Naruto tuned her out and began to collect his bloody kunai. He then threw the kunai at her, and she poofed away as if she was a clone and another of her began circling him again screaming "MURDERER! MURDERER!" She stopped and began asking "why" for no apparent reason.

"Because!" Naruto said in an unexpected outburst, "BOB RAN AWAY!" The girl's eyes began to water and soon burst into sobs as she held Naruto captive, sobbing in his chest.

"Okay, I'm done," she said instantly, her face not streaked with tears, and skipped happily away.

"I'm blue," said Kisame after appearing out of nowhere. He began break-dancing as if he was a gangsta and medallions (sp?) appeared around his neck as music appeared as well, and he sang, "I'm blue da ba dee da ba die da bee dee ba die da ba dee da ba die da bee dee ba die!"

Naruto stared at him not amused, "Gangstas don't break-dance. Sorry to burst your bubble."

Kisame stared at him back, then after a long silence, he sang, "I'm blue da ba dee da ba die da bee dee ba die da ba dee da ba die da bee dee ba die! I'm blue da ba dee da ba die da bee dee ba die da ba dee da ba die da bee dee ba die!"

"Two can play at that game," Kakashi called out and began to sing, "Never made it as a wise man, I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing; Tired of living like a blind man, I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling."

"You guys SUCK!" Naruto cried throwing tomatoes at both at them and running away.

The little girl came back and hit him on the head, "I thought Kakashi sounded nice; I know, let's build a karaoke stand right here!"

"NOOOOOOOO!" Naruto yelled and ran away from her evil grasp. The girl faked cry until she was bored and decided to look for Kakashi.

"Oh My gosh! You're Jackie Chan!" Kakashi squealed like a schoolgirl pointing at Jackie Chan.

"Oh my gosh! It's Kakashi!" a horde of fangirls girls screamed.

"Oh my gosh, it _is_ kakashi!" Jackie Chan cried.

After screaming for a few moments, Jackie Chan and the fangirls pounced on Kakashi and tied him to a tree.

"OOOOOOOH!" Said one of the fangirls after tying Jackie Chan to the same tree for no reason, "Lets set the tree on fire. Then we can share his ashes evenly."

Just then, out of nowhere, a young girl came out of nowhere and cut his ropes, "Am I the only sane Kakashi fan out there? Jackie Chan, I'm sorry to say this, but Kakashi's not gay. He reads perverted books written by an obviously straight guy, who uses women as an inspiration. Stop torturing him! Okay, I'm done."

"Oh my gosh, it's rock lee!" The kakashi fans screamed and chased after him. Just then, Neji fell from the sky.

"Oh my gosh! It's a flying Neji!" The Kakashi fans dumped Rock Lee for the grounded Neji. The young girl from before poked him in the abdomen so hard he yelped; she smiled and exclaimed loudly, "You're pregnant!"

"Man!" Exclaimed another one. "You really ought to stay away from LEE!"

Irritated, Neji fell back into the sky (sort of like a rewind button).

"Bye bye Rewind Neji!!" Naruto, who came out of nowhere, cried waving and then the story ended. 


End file.
